I just wrote a letter to my future self, one of a series of 88 that I have written over a period of 4 years. Each to be opened exactly six years after being written. Why? I hear you ask, here is the method to my madness…
Over the years my journaling has evolved from freestyle thoughts spilling onto limitless pages, to a structured daily focus on growth and exploration my personal, professional and spiritual life. I do still free write but only one page per day, alongside a growth journal.
If I do feel the need to write more I turn it into a special occasion, I take the time to write a letter or card to my future self. These extra observations might be goals, predictions, wishes, dreams or simply moments of joy that I want to crystallise and remember when I’m old. They can be happy in celebration or recognition of a goal I have achieved, or a tool to get me through a feeling of a sadness or frustration. The act of writing to a future me reminds me of where I want to be and how far I have actually come already.
All the letters are sealed with a “please open me on… “ date which is 6 years into the future, and I mark reminders in my diary to hold letter opening ceremonies on those dates. The first one is on 1st October 2020.
I started writing these letters when I moved away from the UK as a way of crystallising special moments in time I wanted to keep vivid in my mind for years to come. Alongside a beautiful day to a page journal where I jot my daily thoughts and observations, I pen a card to myself on particularly magical days that I want to remember long past the event.
They are cheap, easy to get hold of and simple to store
A simple card is easy to carry or post back to storage in the UK it isn’t big or bulky like souvenirs. I adore writing so after the first one in October 2014 when I had just left, they became a staple as I moved around the world.
With no idea where I was going to end up it seemed a pretty ethereal exercise to be writing to a future me. I conjured up images of all sorts of different settings that future me might open them in. Will I be well/happy/in love? Where will I be living? What will I be doing? Will these letters make me smile/cry or laugh? All these thoughts flood into my head as I seal them up and put a reminder in my calendar for when I must hold the letter opening ceremony. It makes me feel excited for the future, it makes me feel more engaged with the possibility that it holds and more determined to make sure future me is proud of the paths that I choose. Me, my harshest critic is going to be looking back on these specific details in 6 years time! Eeeeeek!
They act as an exercise to coax goals out of the bad days too!
What began as a way to document magical days on my solo travel adventures, over time became something which helped to crystallise future goals and a way to work through more negative experiences and emotions too.
At an art gallery in Bendigo, Victoria I wandered into a room where there was a painting of a woman in renaissance style. Resplendent in her almost nakedness, she showed off the simple beauty of her curvy & pale figure. I immediately felt sad that I didn’t have the confidence she had to own her natural shape, her confidence seemed to be bursting out of the the painting.
Then I immediately burst into laughter as I remembered that I had once been compared to one of these paintings by an ex boyfriend. Oh the irony.
At the time I had taken it as an insult. I thought, “but she looks doughy and super pale! Is that really what I look like?!”
The reality is that she was radiant and confident in owning her own natural beauty, which is after all in the eye of the beholder. If I can’t love myself for what I am then who can? And if I can’t take a compliment when someone compares me to a famous painting which is revered all over the world then that’s on me.
Daily life comes with us when we travel. I was never alone when I travelled solo as all the insecurities that I carried around with me at home clearly accompanied me everywhere I went.
The future letter that day became a statement to my future self about how I would love myself better & harder. It was a testament to slow down and take compliments when they are given, relish the positive and let go of my own negative chatter. How cool to be compared to such a beautiful and famous painting!
Since then, letters are penned to celebrate the good and also to help me make statements about what I want from my future as inspired by what I have seen or experienced all over the world.
Often they relate to goals that I want to include in my master plan for my perfect day, they outline details that have sprung to mind as a result of an observation or experience like this one. The help me find the positive in bad days, or sometimes simple note them for my own personal history so I can remember my journey.
My letters help me explore a way out of those days and create an occasion of that task. They are always written in beautiful cards picked up on my travels around the world and are always with my fountain pen.
They programme goals into my subconscious
By writing these observations in black and white they become a statement of intent to create that life for myself, a deadline almost. The intention is then imprinted into my subconscious, I can’t help but think wouldn’t it be cool if I was looking back in 6 years and was in that place or beyond? Having felt and explored the negative emotion I feel free to move past it and having made a statement of intent I feel excited to reflect on it in the future.
This year I wrote an extra series of letters when I set my goals for the year, which outlined what I want to achieve in my life overall for 2018 as well as detailed goals for 8 focus areas of my life. Health, Love, work, money, spirituality, community, family & friends & social. I’ll open these at the end of the year to see how much of what I had visualised and planned has come to fruition.
I wrote one overall letter for the first time in 2016 and was blown away by the difference in what I achieved that year compared to previous years when I had set a rough outline but had not gone into so much detail. I had felt like I hadn’t achieved anything when December came, and I was stunned to realise that I had actually achieved 75% of what I set out for myself when I read back through the letter to myself filled with my original intentions and dreams.
I have a few other specialised health and spirituality journals that I dip into as and when I need to, and I supplement the journals with an ever-growing family of notebooks that are peppered with notes, exercises and ideas from self-development books.
All of this now comes naturally to someone who used to hate doing any self-focused work. Even getting me to complete a performance review used to be like pulling teeth and I would do anything to avoid it and often left it until the last minute. Goodness knows how much opportunity I missed out on by being ashamed to shine light on myself, focus on what I really wanted and speak up. I have now turned it into ceremony that I enjoy and see ongoing and enjoyable results from.
Coaching gave me the motivation to get on and do these things, to find more joy in my life and to create my own definition of success in my days. It all started with turning journaling into a curious enquiry instead of a negative emotional dump. I made a few different attempts at journaling styles, techniques and different times of day before I was able to find my rhythm. But I now don’t feel right if I don’t do these things, they are a part of me. I do shake it up from time to time, as I read every day so am constantly inspired by new perspectives and ideas. But the core of reading, learning and reflecting every day remains solid and is underpinned by prioritisation of health, self-care and family time.
If you had told the me of 6 years ago that my life would be as it is now, I would have thought you were mad! Things like that were for other people, not for me.
Have you ever written a letter to your future self? How do you think it would make you feel?