How to live a Delectable Life

[00:00:00] Sarah Potter: Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome to the ladder to beetle lounge podcast, which means the sweet life in Italian. I'm your host, Sarah Potter, a sacred authority best-selling author, coach healer, and vegan baker. And I'm here to activate and inspire multipotential women so they can grow businesses to activate their brilliance and manifest radical change in their lives and the world.

[00:00:25] Sarah Potter: Today I am welcoming Kathryn Friend, who is a coach, hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner as well. And her mission is to help as many people as possible to activate their delectable life, which is very expansive and beautiful and just, oh I just love hearing about all the different ways that Kathryn activates this.

[00:00:47] Sarah Potter: So I thought that you guys would love it too! So welcome, Catherine. 

[00:00:52] Kathryn Friend: Thank you for having me. 

[00:00:54] Sarah Potter: It's an absolute delight. Um, well, we're going to chat a little bit about how Catherine [00:01:00] came to her journey of healing and hypnotherapy, um, and well, geographical journey as well as the healing journey. So tell us a little bit about that. What were you doing before you started on your journey as a hypnotherapist? 

[00:01:15] Kathryn Friend: Yes. Well, I I grew up in Australia probably as a first and foremost start where alternative therapies, I think just naturally occur, especially where I grew up on the Northern beaches of Sydney. There's a lot of artists and alternative lifestyle people there.

[00:01:32] Kathryn Friend: So it was always kind of just around and part of life. And then I went off to university to start interior design, but was sidetracked into the fitness industry in the nineties boom, that might give you a hint of my vintage! And then I went into human resources, learning and development, which is where I really found that I love working with people and [00:02:00] helping them become the best of themselves in a professional capacity. And that led me on to NLP training, leadership and coaching, and then eventually hypnotherapy, which is what I'm doing now.

[00:02:14] Sarah Potter: And that human potential, oh my gosh there's so much to be unlocked isn't there?!

[00:02:18] Sarah Potter: My first introduction to NLP was in the corporate environment as well, but it was very sales focused, but that wasn't its original intent was it? It was all about unlocking the mind. Can you tell me a little bit more about that? The NLP aspect 

[00:02:34] Kathryn Friend: Richard Bandler was one of the creators of NLP and I was very fortunate to do my study with a lovely woman called Sue Knight, who still practices today. She is I think in her mid seventies maybe, and she's an inspiration. She really is because she embodies the core of NLP, which is all about modeling excellence. I think [00:03:00] out there in the world, there is this. NLP mindset to maybe about how I can read someone and manipulate them in order to get these results. Which sounds a little bit like what you had in that sales situation.

[00:03:15] Sarah Potter: It was definitely that, it was definitely how could you get people to work to your advantage? But I know that that's not the core, it's a small proportion of the audience has been turned into something else. 

[00:03:27] Kathryn Friend: Yes. And I think that's partly why some people are like, "oh NLP!" And they roll their eyes. And I completely get that because you do learn a lot about how people communicate. So Neuro, the way we think. Linguistic, the way we communicate and the programming so those structures. But the core of NLP is modeling excellence, so finding people who are exemplars in their world. And it might be someone who is, [00:04:00] an exemplar as a chef or an exemplar as an artist. And you find the difference that makes the difference. So as a practitioner, I study both their conscious and unconscious languages behaviors to find out the structures, which helps make them exemplars in what they do. And funnily enough, I'm currently doing a project on NLP around the excellence that I'm really curious about.

[00:04:34] Kathryn Friend: How do you write the first line of a chorus? When you think about, and Coldplay comes to mind for me. So you think about all of those lines that Chris Martin and co write in the first line of a chorus that hooks you in, and takes you, projects you into this journey. So what I'm trying to find out at the moment with [00:05:00] songwriters is what's In that moment? What are you seeing, feeling, hearing, experiencing to communicate that story? And how do you go about the structure of creating an amazing first line? So I'm modeling something on a, quite a micro level, but I can then take that and apply it. And once I know that structure and the strategy that they use, I can then take that and apply it and teach it to people.

[00:05:32] Kathryn Friend: And what a gift to be able to do is to find out the core talent of an exemplar and be able to, create maybe a bit of a methodology with it and then be able to share it because quite often, these exemplars don't know what it is, and how they do it. So it's holding up that mirror to them and discovering the structures themselves.

[00:05:59] Sarah Potter: Oh gosh. [00:06:00] Yeah, it's common isn't it? When people find something so easy, they don't understand exactly how outstanding that is. 

[00:06:08] Kathryn Friend: It's a bit like a hypnotic state in that when you think about an artist, when they are performing or painting or creating, they are most cases in some form of a hypnotic state. And although we're aware, we're not logically aware. And what the modeling through NLP does is bring that subconscious structure to the logic and gives us something to pin it on. 

[00:06:41] Kathryn Friend: So, whether it's about how body is, how we set it, try it on and settle ourselves into something. And you will see say for example, I want to model a painter. I would be really watching what they do before they [00:07:00] paint and I would be mirroring their movements and I would be exploring with them, you know, what's happening just before you lay that first bit of paint on a canvas. What happens? Tell me about it. What do you see, feel, hear? What do you experience just as you're mixing the paint on the canvas? Tell me about it.

[00:07:28] Kathryn Friend: And sometimes they're not aware of it, conversation creates the awareness. 

[00:07:34] Sarah Potter: Yeah. Is there something in the alchemy of rituals? Cause rituals cultivate a flow state right? I love this with writers as well, I love the stories about Roald Dahl. Actually, you think, "oh, he's creative" and there's this trope about creativity "just lands!".

[00:07:50] Sarah Potter: But actually, he very doggedly went down to his little shed in the garden, sat in exactly the same spot and did exactly the same, sharpened his pencil, I think he [00:08:00] sharpened 10 pencils a certain amount of times. And he had a very clear ritual and routine that cultivated the creativity. And yes, there was magic that came out of it, but it came from a very defined process.

[00:08:13] Sarah Potter: So is it getting the intersection of those two things?

[00:08:16] Kathryn Friend: That journey down to the shed, that sitting in the same chair, that sharpening of the pencil. The pace is important, the rotation of the pencil, the grips important. How we hold it that's all of the things that we explore and we're curious about in NLP, because it can be subtle differences that helps us create excellence.

[00:08:47] Kathryn Friend: And at the moment the Olympics is on and you know, I love sport I think everyone loves the Olympics. But being an Aussie, you live and breath sport as part of your childhood. And we do quite well at the Olympics, [00:09:00] 

[00:09:01] Kathryn Friend: generally.

[00:09:01] Sarah Potter: You really do! It's impressive to see that they're up in the top five aren't they? Especially for a small population! 

[00:09:08] Kathryn Friend: Yeah we are! Not so much on the winter Olympics, but we'll take it! But it's what always fascinates me how you see athletes year on year improving because they model.

[00:09:23] Sarah Potter: This is what I really love is the nudges, the tiny micro movements. Because they go for a millisecond that's their training program is to improve by milliseconds. 

[00:09:32] Sarah Potter: And I think you need big, shiny, beautiful goals, but we need tiny steps to get there right? And they're the best example of that. When I want to give up on a run, I always think I'm never going to be an Olympic athlete. But I think it's okay to go for a tiny bit because these incredible people do so we can do it!. 

[00:09:52] Kathryn Friend: Gosh, probably about 15 years ago, there was a show in the UK called faking it, where they would have [00:10:00] complete amateurs say, go and learn how to do dressage on the horse.

[00:10:05] Kathryn Friend: So they had someone who had never ridden a horse and they had to train this person in a really short period to then go and compete in the dressage competition. And that is NLP live on television because they take excellence. So the best dressage person they can get hold of, and that person is pretty much taught how to model that exemplar from everything they think, say, do, eat, drink, sleep, repeat pretty much they become them in order to access that excellence. And that is what NLP really is all about. Yes you can learn the structures in which someone thinks and communicates. [00:11:00] Yes you can do big chunks, small chunk and all of that kind of stuff and influence that to create desired outcomes. 

[00:11:08] Kathryn Friend: But the core is the excellence and studying of excellence around the world in people, things, systems, processes. Yeah. So Sue Sue is amazing. She really is amazing. And her way in which she teaches it is very experiential. You are living and breathing NLP the whole time, and she will coach you and hold up that mirror for you so that you recognize the excellence within yourself.

[00:11:43] Sarah Potter: That's how I sum up coaching as well, somebody to hold up the mirror for you. Because it's not about doing things for you, telling you what to do. It's none of those things it's holding up the mirror to help you see the stuff that's inside. 

[00:11:57] Kathryn Friend: Yes, it is so interlinked [00:12:00] and NLP borrows a lot from hypnotherapy, so you'll see the strategies that you can use logically in NLP are used on the subconscious level in hypnotherapy. 

[00:12:16] Kathryn Friend: And you combine those with the art of coaching, you have some very powerful tools to help people, to find their light to be the best that they can be. To let go of that stuff that we just no longer need that no longer serves them.

[00:12:36] Kathryn Friend: Or as one of my clients said to me, remove all of those coats that people have just laid on my shoulders for decades. Or I've put on myself that I've been carrying around, so that I'm free to be who I am and be empowered to live my best life. 

[00:12:56] Sarah Potter: Such a great metaphor, I love a metaphor! It's deprogramming the [00:13:00] confusion. They all just help it sink in don't they? Because it's really challenging because around 90% of our thoughts are the same day to day aren't they? So whatever stories that can help people just visualize that unpicking and it's a bit challenging sometimes, but that's why these models really helped to create a pathway right? 

[00:13:23] Kathryn Friend: We were talking about books just before, and I used to hold this belief that you had to finish a book. If you started it, you have to finish it. What a load of toot that was! 

[00:13:36] Kathryn Friend: That belief was born somewhere like years ago. All of a sudden, a couple years back maybe five years back. I was like, well, why would I continue reading a book that I'm really just not enjoying and feeling it's okay for me to put it down.

[00:13:54] Kathryn Friend: And I remember the first time I wrote in my own book, I was making [00:14:00] some little pencil in the back of my hand.

[00:14:09] Sarah Potter: I knew it! You're an evil person. If you turn the pages down in books! I write in non fiction books, I write all over them and it still makes me laugh now .Like it's my book! I can do whatever I want with it.

[00:14:21] Sarah Potter: And I think there's sometimes really simple things, but they create hooks that just hold onto us. That that's the magic of hypnotherapy isn't it? Is that it can just unhook that just been one thing that one person said, and it sits there in that subconscious. So NLP and hypnotherapy work really beautifully together then?

[00:14:45] Kathryn Friend: They do, it all works. It all works in synchronicity. It's like these cogs, just all coming together and you pull from one and pull from the other and bespoken and created the client that's in front of [00:15:00] you. And it's a real gift.

[00:15:03] Sarah Potter: So NLP came first, and then hypnotherapy came in after that?

[00:15:07] Kathryn Friend: It did, well so NLP came first and then hypnotherapy came, and I've always been interested in how the mind works,etc. And when I was in the fitness industry, I worked in the fitness industry for a long time through club management and then moved into HR, learning and development, etc.

[00:15:28] Kathryn Friend: And I've also taught fitness classes, I've done personal training, I've done buggy fit. I'm a bit of a Jack of all trades you could say! But my greatest frustration and greatest observation actually was. There are four parts, very simply in wellness, or fitness. There is our cardiovascular fitness, which is our heart and lungs. There is our strength, which is our muscles. 

[00:15:54] Kathryn Friend: There's our nutrition, and the key part, you could get, you could get that pretty [00:16:00] much in a gym or in the fitness industry. Nutrition was hit and miss, depending on who you spoke to, it's gotten better now, which is great, but a big piece of the pie was that whole mindset.

[00:16:14] Kathryn Friend: And I was always fascinated with members or even staff or athletes, they do all of this training yet they never quite get over the line. Why does someone struggle with weight loss? When I see them eating well, cardiovascular and strength, but there's just something else. And it was all about here.

[00:16:35] Kathryn Friend: So that's what led me to NLP, and that helped with the leadership development and management development and coaching. And then I've kind of shaped and morphed with my life hypnotherapy came back because I distinctly remember the first time I'd ever heard of hypnotherapy was in 1986. [00:17:00] Famous Australian program called neighbors. You might've been too young, Sarah!

[00:17:06] Sarah Potter: I was a massive neighbors fan when I was a kid! 

[00:17:08] Sarah Potter: Weren't we all?!, Especially 

[00:17:11] Sarah Potter: with Scott and Charlene, you know everyone's 

[00:17:14] Sarah Potter: heroes! 

[00:17:16] Kathryn Friend: When Scott and Charlene got married. Now this particular scene with Dr. Beverly hypnotizing Gail to help remember the license plate of the car that crashed into Daphne, who was in a coma

[00:17:41] Sarah Potter: I remember that!

[00:17:43] Kathryn Friend: Thrown into this vortex. It's so clear, remembering this particular episode. It's at the same level of Scott and Charlene's wedding. I remember in that moment being so fascinated by it, like, [00:18:00] wow, you can help some remember something from an event?! Like that's amazing! I then got caught up in the pure emotion of Daphne dying because, 

[00:18:11] Sarah Potter: well, it's a big deal.

[00:18:15] Kathryn Friend: Like when, how old was I? Maybe 8?! Yeah something like that.. You, you really invested neighbors is real life. 

[00:18:25] Sarah Potter: Nothing else that's going on in your life! 

[00:18:27] Sarah Potter: Absolutely 

[00:18:27] Kathryn Friend: not! It's all about Ramsey street, but I really remember that. And since then, I've always been fascinated with what's going on with the mind. Our mind is far greater, has more powerful than we'll ever know.

[00:18:40] Kathryn Friend: And then of course you just kind of just grow up, go through teenage and all of that kind of living in the logical world, analytical world, but we're in now. And then through my career of working with people, the difference that makes the difference is what goes on up here and actually in here. So [00:19:00] that whole heart soul had intuition stuff for me is so intricately linked.

[00:19:09] Kathryn Friend: And I think sometimes in today's world, we've gotten so stuck in data and science and evidence and binary. That we have forgotten a little bit about the intuition that we naturally have within that limbic brain. I think it's coming to the forefront again, which is really lovely. And we're starting to realize that both are of equal value.

[00:19:41] Kathryn Friend: Both are extremely powerful. The logic is good, but unless it's backed up by, intuition by who we are, what we stand for. Then it, it will just, it will fall. So that, [00:20:00] 80/20 rule 

[00:20:00] Sarah Potter: it's like, I found that when I was in corporate people were struggling to quantify it because you can't put intuition into a business case, but if you just know your people also have years of experience, how do you quantify that? How do you quantify there's humans that are making these decisions and activating these things at the end of the day? Right. A lot of these, what are considered softer skills frameworks of NLP, emotional intelligence, all those things, they actually help people play in their strengths in ways that then amplify how you can get the best out of data or a program, so it's exciting to see the blend of all of these things come together.

[00:20:39] Kathryn Friend: Wonderful. It's wonderful, it really is.. 

[00:20:43] Sarah Potter: So that came into your incarnation I guess?! In fitness

[00:20:47] Kathryn Friend: Yeah. People quite often say, oh, well what is she doing at the moment? Because I have had a number of different hats throughout my career. And I'm like, oh I'm a hypnotherapist and they'll say "oh that's different!"

[00:20:59] Kathryn Friend: [00:21:00] But for me, it's not because it's a natural progression. The trunk of a tree and the branching off and all of them, twigs and leaves, et cetera. It's just a natural evolving, learning. And I am so blessed, to do the work that I do, because everything that I have done has contributed to where I'm now and the gift that I have in walking alongside people to help them find their light.

[00:21:37] Kathryn Friend: To get rid of those coats that they just no longer need. 

[00:21:41] Sarah Potter: That's such a key point because I think, there's lots of misconceptions about, oh, that you do the work as the therapist or you do the thing, you are the key. No, we are not the key, we help you find your own keys that you already have.

[00:21:58] Kathryn Friend: Absolutely. I [00:22:00] really just think of myself as the sat nav, 

[00:22:02] Sarah Potter: Yeah! Like a bit of a way shower. 

[00:22:06] Kathryn Friend: I've got a map, there's lots of different ways we can take, you want to get from a to B. And this is, I kind of plan out a route, but we might take a couple of detours, but at any time you can take a different journey and I'll be along alongside you.

[00:22:24] Kathryn Friend: It's really lovely, and to go back to a point you mentioned before The difference, I think between maybe CBT therapy, which is very powerful, hugely beneficial versus NLP no versus hypnotherapy is that when you're trying to remove those coats, that limiting stuff or the issue that you're trying to move through. What you will do in a CBT session is you will remain in your logic brain, your conscious brain and you'll be looking at it [00:23:00] from an analytical point of view. The beauty when you're in the relaxed state of hypnosis is you're present to it, but there's this inner knowing this understanding that although you may view trauma and it doesn't have to be extreme trauma. It might be something that someone said to you such as "that wasn't very good" or " I'm really disappointed in you" those little marks and chinks in the armor. When you're in hypnosis and you go to that moment, you look at it slightly you're present, but slightly removed. And although you might get a little bit emotional, that emotion is the release of the understanding and the learning of that moment on what that has meant for you and how it's defined.

[00:23:59] Kathryn Friend: [00:24:00] And I think you can get to that point through hypnosis far quicker, and with a lot less pain and angst , than what you do staying in the logic of say a CBT or talking therapy, and because you can fast track it through hypnosis, far more effectively in my not so humble opinion. The transformation and the release that can happen as a result of that is profound.

[00:24:31] Kathryn Friend: It's phenomenal and a real gift to be able to facilitate the space for someone to do. 

[00:24:40] Sarah Potter: Yeah, definitely, because often stuff comes up that people might resist if you are having a fully conscious conversation. And actually it can be released, the tears might be felt, but maybe the detail of it might not necessarily come up. But just knowing that it's gone. 

[00:24:56] Sarah Potter: And as you say, that jacket has come off. That's, [00:25:00] that's a fear that, comes up quite a lot, certainly with my clients. 

[00:25:03] Sarah Potter: "I don't want to talk about my childhood" or "I don't want to go there" because there's this perception that like, with those therapies that you mentioned, that you hang around there and go in. Actually you don't have to hang around there, it can be you just ripping off the plaster and it's gone. It's not about going and digging everything up. It's just the right thing, bubbles up. It's often not what you expect! 

[00:25:31] Kathryn Friend: Quite often, and it's not simply when we say we've done a parts therapy session with a client and what they think has been a trigger to whatever is holding them back 99.9% of the time it isn't

[00:25:48] Kathryn Friend: Then when you ask them, did you remember that? And have you ever, has that ever come to you? They're like, no, no. I had no [00:26:00] idea that that's what it was and now I know it it's like, oh my goodness. Just light bulb moment, wow! 

[00:26:10] Sarah Potter: And that un pops a valve of

[00:26:16] Kathryn Friend: Kind, of release. Isn't it? 

[00:26:18] Sarah Potter: Yeah!

[00:26:20] Kathryn Friend: And interestingly enough, I don't know if you found this, Sarah, when you've talked to someone pre hypnosis. Having a chat, and you can tell they're trying to keep themselves together be stoic, and all of that kind of stuff. Or they are quite upset about it, but their state changes in hypnosis.

[00:26:41] Kathryn Friend: They're so relaxed, so calm that their willingness and their want to go there, is just beautiful. It really is quite something to [00:27:00] behold. I have seen people physically transform before my eyes, when they are there in hypnosis. When I'm face-to-face with them or online, you will see the lifting of energy and this upleveling as the learning happens and the release that valve is released. Wow. 

[00:27:28] Sarah Potter: Sometimes in parts therapy when you talk and, sometimes people resist talking. But you can see where the movement is happening, where the release is happening. So whether it's a cough or, you know, there's something going on here, or you can see it it's is really magical.

[00:27:43] Sarah Potter: And I do always say whatever the goal is, one common thing that people always experience is that deep relaxation.

[00:27:50] Sarah Potter: So you might have the biggest, hairiest, you know, I'm going to go get this goal. But you'll still leave the session feeling relaxed.[00:28:00] 

[00:28:01] Kathryn Friend: It was funny, last week I did an online group hypnosis session and one of my clients, I've been seeing her and her Mum and the Mum and her were doing the session together.

[00:28:12] Kathryn Friend: And her Mum loves hypnosis, so she just basically came into the room and laid down! Didn't acknowledge me or talk, but she's just like, I know this stuff!

[00:28:24] Sarah Potter: I think actually, the more that you do it the more susceptible to suggestions you are. So yeah, the relaxation gets even deeper. 

[00:28:32] Kathryn Friend: And the more you realize how cool that deep state of relaxation for you and the ripple effect that it has, the positive ripple effect it has in all areas of your life. You're just like, yeah. It's the best drug out there and it's free and it's natural!

[00:28:50] Sarah Potter: Yeah! That's the thing I had a client earlier on in the year, and then they had a bit of a break and then came back to me cause they were like, there was this, ripple effect and then it's kind of [00:29:00] stopped. Like you can listen back to stuff, but the thing with that is. It has an effect, and it will always have an effect. But as you change as a person, because it's tailored to that specific moment. It's not necessarily going to hit the same spots kind of thing because you have moved on. 

[00:29:17] Kathryn Friend: It doesn't , and how you as a therapist, guide someone through one problem is different to how you guide them through another problem .

[00:29:29] Kathryn Friend: You and I come from the thought process and practice of deal with one thing at a time, knowing that that focusing on that one thing is going to have positive effects on everything. Because it's all energy, what you do over here is going to affect over there. 

[00:29:50] Kathryn Friend: But once we address this problem, let the dust settle and then see what pops up elsewhere. And then we can address that, and how we address each of those might be[00:30:00] different techniques or methodologies in order to help facilitate that for our clients.

[00:30:05] Sarah Potter: Absolutely. And how does that work for your Delectable life clients? 

[00:30:10] Kathryn Friend: Oh gosh, the thing I really work on with my clients is confidence. Because with confidence, we can pretty much do anything. 

[00:30:22] Kathryn Friend: But I've recently finished with a client who had a fear of flying and my goodness, the transformation in this client has been even, I can't quite believe it.

[00:30:36] Kathryn Friend: It's just the, the woman who walked in on her first session to the woman who left me last week on her last session. Uh, just. She's the same woman, but my goodness she's different. She looks younger. She's lost weight. She's just like her too. She's got teenage sons. One of them said to her [00:31:00] mom, do you think his therapy's working?

[00:31:03] Kathryn Friend: And she, before she had a chance to reply, he said, because you're so much calmer, you're happier, you're laughing again. And that made me well up when she told me this, because I think, gosh, what a gift for your 17 year old son to say Mum, you're just so much more relaxed. Although we've worked on fear of flying her anxiety level in all areas of her life has significantly decreased.

[00:31:31] Kathryn Friend: Confidence is like just soaring, she's now wearing clothes that she would have never worn before she's choosing colour and she's so excited about it. And then yesterday or the day before she flew, so she flew to Greece and her a big trigger was turbulence. So naturally she could never sleep on a flight.

[00:31:58] Kathryn Friend: They would, they would adjust their flights [00:32:00] so that they would fly in the day, they would only fly to certain destinations. Only so ever many hours, et cetera. And I got this wonderful message from her yesterday just saying, wow, just, wow. We had warnings of turbulence, we had turbulence, delays in flights.

[00:32:19] Kathryn Friend: So all of those things that she knows used to trigger her. Gone. And she said, I even slept! Which is phenomenal considering where she was at and how much this had influenced, not just her decision-making and her life, but her husband's and her two boys. So now she's like, bring it on traveling the world without a care 

[00:32:45] Sarah Potter: In lovely clothes feeling confident?! It is amazing because these little stories, they become bigger over time when we hold on to them right? And then it affects all these other things. 

[00:32:58] Kathryn Friend: She won't mind me [00:33:00] sharing this, but even hormonally she's 

[00:33:02] Sarah Potter: quite 

[00:33:04] Kathryn Friend: close to full menopause. But even that has been coming into alignment within herself energetically. Has helped her from a hormonal point of view, and that caught even me by surprise! Which, and it's just wonderful. 

[00:33:21] Sarah Potter: Well, because underneath, if things are feeling out of control then anxiety can trigger off so many different things. Especially hormonal stuff. I'm at a different stage of my hormone lifecycle, but when I'm feeling anxious, everything goes a bit wild if I'm not resting properly. 

[00:33:39] Sarah Potter: And if I'm feeling worried about stuff, these things can trigger all sorts of stuff in the body that then sends everything haywire. And I think we've underestimated sometimes for women how far reaching some of these things can go. 

[00:33:54] Sarah Potter: Because then that can affect relationships, and this is where decision-making gets [00:34:00] impaired. 

[00:34:00] Kathryn Friend: When we are feeling really unsteady, we can link it somehow to our cycle and. When we're feeling unsteady, our ability to make really sound decisions is a Rocky road.

[00:34:17] Kathryn Friend: So if we can help be calm, be confident through hypnotherapy meditation, lowering the anxiety. It makes a huge difference to us. It's all energy. It's all linked in 

[00:34:31] Sarah Potter: It really is!

[00:34:32] Kathryn Friend: It's like a big game of universal dominoes really!. 

[00:34:36] Sarah Potter: Yeah. It's amazing. And the amount of times that people come for one thing and then this little bit of other stuff.

[00:34:42] Sarah Potter: It never ceases to amaze me the different areas that can be affected once you get this core. Because there's always the cool thing, but so, you know, if someone wants to be more successful at work that's obviously going to impact other stuff. That the flight thing that's going to open up things for the rest of the [00:35:00] family.

[00:35:00] Kathryn Friend: It's opened up so much,not just in the way of travel but just life. Her family, the Mum and sister, all like, it's just been phenomenal. And that's one client that I've rabbited on about. She's really extraordinary! So my clients, mostly women and they're mostly women over 40 their children are getting a little bit older and less dependent on them. And because their identity has been so intricately linked to being a Mum and being the wife of, or the Mum of. And then all of a sudden the children, are not needing them like they were. They are kind of floundering a bit like, who am I again?

[00:35:57] Kathryn Friend: And then they've got these hormonal changes. [00:36:00] Some of them are dealing with elderly parents who maybe unwell or starting to need more support. They have lost a sense of identity with themselves. So the work with the most of my clients is about. Coming home. Who am I? What is it that I want to do?

[00:36:21] Kathryn Friend: What's my light and how much do I want to shine it? Because I've been so busy facilitating life for everyone else that I've kind of forgotten who I am. And I want to come back to that. And in doing that, they find it that je ne sais quoi again. And that is just lovely because, you know, when you're young doing your career and that's what defines you.

[00:36:50] Kathryn Friend: I am a yada yada yada, and I work for yada yada, yada. And then you, some people get married or have partner and have [00:37:00] kids and you get caught up in all of that lovely stuff of families, but in all of that giving and providing. You say, you're so busy doing all of that. You forget, you lose who you are, and it's a real gift to hold space for them to come alive again.

[00:37:20] Kathryn Friend: And it's wonderful, the positive effects that has on them, their families, their friends, is phenomenal really is. 

[00:37:29] Sarah Potter: Launching into that next cycle that has a whole other richness of wisdom. It's absolutely incredible because then if that's not, not just a foundation for them, but then as the kids become adults, like to see their mother flourish, sounds incredible 

[00:37:47] Kathryn Friend: To find the confidence again, and my client who's in Greece. I'm thinking, you know, to find the confidence again, to wear color that she's not worn before or [00:38:00] worn for years because she just, she was wearing so many other things. 

[00:38:06] Kathryn Friend: She was carrying the jackets! 

[00:38:09] Sarah Potter: But their stories as well, like my grandmother used to have lovely purple coat. And I remember picking her up from church once and I said "I love that coat, it looks lovely on you". "Oh no. Well, I shouldn't be wearing this all the time"

[00:38:21] Sarah Potter: You should! wear the purple every day. But there's these stories about what we should do as we get older, isn't there, like don't have long hair. Don't have short hair. Don't wear colour. 

[00:38:33] Sarah Potter: Yeah, 

[00:38:34] Kathryn Friend: no, 

[00:38:34] Kathryn Friend: I'm determined to be. I kind of like want to channel Iris Apfel.

[00:38:43] Sarah Potter: Yeah. 

[00:38:43] Kathryn Friend: All the colour, that's the beauty with Iris she's just remained creative.

[00:38:50] Sarah Potter: Yeah. Her whole life was just her focus and her trust and her trust in joy. That's a film that made me cry, I loved watching that film. I watched that when I lived in [00:39:00] Australia, actually! I loved it so much they were magical, her and her partner.

[00:39:04] Sarah Potter: And he facilitated her creativity and she facilitated him. They just had the most incredible life together.

[00:39:10] Kathryn Friend: Real consanguinity, which is just wonderful. All of us, all of us have that within. I hope that, my work allows more and more people to find it because we all have something to offer that we all have light to give.

[00:39:35] Kathryn Friend: There is enough joy in the world for it to be abundant beyond our wildest dreams. We need to allow ourselves to step into it. My role, your role as therapist is to hold that space for whatever that person needs to take that step, [00:40:00] to find their light, to find the dial, to turn up and make it shine.

[00:40:05] Kathryn Friend: Because when you do that, it has such a positive effect or. Everyone and everything. And you, you step into an empowered delectable life, which is just joy and beauty. 

[00:40:21] Kathryn Friend: And it's just wonderful 

[00:40:24] Sarah Potter: That space is so important because it can feel daunting when you're going from the shadow. And. Oh is absolutely magical.

[00:40:32] Sarah Potter: So how can people work with you? How do they find you? 

[00:40:34] Kathryn Friend: So the best way to 

[00:40:37] Kathryn Friend: get to know me and to contact me is through Instagram. You can find me at a delectable life. Is the best way to get hold of me, find out a little bit about what I do, how I do it. And a little bit of quirkiness that is me! 

[00:40:53] Sarah Potter: thank you very much for joining my love! 

[00:40:56] Kathryn Friend: Sarah thank you, my darling girl. Can't wait to see you [00:41:00] again in person!

[00:41:04] Sarah Potter: Thank you so much for joining us on that journey through a Delectable life and how that works for her clients in reality. I really loved the dive into NLP, I think it's something that I definitely have had my perceptions about in the past. So it was really interesting to see that from a different perspective and how we can model the excellence that we see in the world.

[00:41:27] Sarah Potter: And superstar athletes and creatives and all of those wonderful people that we think into their work on a daily basis. How we can take that into our everyday lives, these daily rituals, other things that make that magic happen so we can all do it.. We can all take something of that into our everyday lives. So I'd love to know what you all want to take into your everyday life.

[00:41:54] Sarah Potter: These ripple effects are huge! Thank you so much for joining me. If you love [00:42:00] the podcast, I'd really enjoy. If you would review and subscribe or even share with anyone else that you think that would like it too. If you want to chat about anything that came up, you can reach out to either Kathryn or I. Kathryn @Delectablelife on Instagram and me @Ladolcevitacoach coach I'd love to chat! Have a sweet day.