“Empathy – The ability to understand and share the feelings of another”
Is empathy important to you?
92% of CEOs state that empathy is important to them but 92% of employees also feel that empathy is undervalued in their workplace.
How can there be such a disconnect when we all seem to feel that it’s important?
Even if you have lived a parallel life to the people around you, attended the same schools, went on the same holidays, the same colleges and work at the same workplaces you will have unique experiences that alter your perception of what’s OK and what’s not both at work and at home. The things that are important for you to be considered at work or home are different to the next person.
Why is empathy important?
It helps you tune into people around you – drop down and tune into the people around you, find out what’s motivating them (or not!), find out what they want from the world or what they have too much of.
You can see how you can serve people better – What you think you can or should contribute to the world may be different to what people actually want. Tuning in will help you align with your fellow humans better and encourage stronger connections.
It helps you see a bigger picture – Understanding these different perspectives will help you see how they can all work together better.
You will more accurately predict the behaviour of others – Connecting more deeply with people around you and having an appreciation of what makes them tick will help you understand their triggers for both positive and negative behaviours.
It helps you manage conflict – An understanding of triggers will help you cultivate situations that have less of the bad ones and more of the good ones.
It makes you a better negotiator – Understanding and appreciating what makes people tick means that you understand exactly what needs to be on the table to take people on the journey with you.
You’ll have better relationships at work and at home – Taking the time to listen, hear, reflect and mitigate for the things that are important to the people that are important to you will result in increased trust and deeper connections.
It helps you be a better version of yourself – Investing time in empathetic behaviour and encouraging deeper bonds with people you care about will result in a more confident and happier you. What’s not to like?!
How Can I develop empathy?
Good news, it can be developed like a muscle!
Listen more – Have you ever listened 100% to what someone is saying to you, no talking whatsoever? Not one single word to affirm, acknowledge or question what they say? To let them get everything out that they want to say and really be heard? It’s hard, isn’t it? Try and do it more, and see what you learn about the people around you, it’s likely that people will start to open up to you more when the floor is really theirs and you are listening to hear and not listening to speak.
Don’t make assumptions – Once you have listened to what your friend/partner/colleague has to say, play it back to them. Check that you have understood what they are trying to tell you and play it back to them in your own words. Your own nuanced experience may skew your interpretation so double check that you have heard correctly. It will garner more trust in your relationship as they will feel heard and valued. Ask questions to clarify any areas that are not quite clear
Talk more! – I know I said talk less in point one, but once you have listened there is a need to start talking more too. Now that you know the things to look out for with the important people in your life you can start to look out for them. If you see or sense something that they have made you aware is an issue or celebration point for them, point it out. Be considerate of it, share the knowledge and see what comes back.
Be patient – Like a svelte 6-pack stomach, empathy will not magically appear overnight. Accepting this is a skill that will come with time and encourage feedback from people you wish to have better relationships with. Be kind to yourself.
Empathy is notoriously hard to define, but Emotional Intelligence testing can help read the indicators through its measure of self-regard and regard for others.
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