I’m going to break a few hearts right off the bat, but there is no miracle cure or 1 week solution to develop emotional intelligence. You can get insights very quickly, and start to make changes that will make you feel enlightened, hopeful and in control. But there’s not a quick fix, this is something your keep showing up to time after time.
However…
When you show up consistently, you will see and feel change happen with increasing speed. What starts out as a very intentional practice will very quickly become part of who you are.
Have you been hiding from new habits that you know will do you good? Do you feel stuck in behaviours or habits that you know don’t serve you but also saying things like this
- “I have always done it like this”
- “I can’t change now”
- “Making new habits is too hard…”
- “It’s how it/we has/have always been, I don’t know where to start with changing it”
It’s all just a bit too much effort, isn’t it? Maybe you are afraid of what might be uncovered if you dig around in the whys and wherefores of that particular habit or behaviour and think the work will be too much.
Let me ask you a question…
How is it living with the things that you know are not ideal in your life right now?
How does that feel?
It’s feeling heavy & hard already isn’t it?
It can stifle creativity and even feel shameful when you know you can do better and aren’t showing up in your truest expression every day.
Repeating many small behaviours that you know are not you at your best gets a teeny tiny bit heavier every single day and chips away at your confidence.
It gets harder to start to change them every day doesn’t it?
The more we do things, the more ingrained into our DNA they become. Positive or negative, the thought pattern will be reinforced by the actions we take
But, you managed to work these irritating things into your life didn’t you?
So by the same token, it’s possible that you can create ways to replace them with new habits and behaviours too. The key is to build them up over teeny tiny steps every day, with a more positive vibe and more conscious approach Vs when you built the less useful habits unconsciously.
Why wait until the breaking point when you can start making changes now?
Emotional Intelligence is not like a personality profile that can give a fixed read on your traits as a person.
Emotional Intelligence is like a set of muscles that you can build and condition over time. When you are aware of what needs work and what you are good at, you can create a plan for a more optimised you and a sweeter life.
Working on your Emotional Intelligence gives you the framework to build on your strengths and your weaknesses with careful attention and focused action.
Just like going to the gym!
It can take as little as a few months to transform your capacity to connect, lead and thrive with the tools and awareness that emotional intelligence cultivates.
Improving your emotional intelligence can reduce stress
If you are more aware of what triggers you in your own actions (or inaction!) and those of others, you automatically have a wider and more helicopter view of the world in which you are operating on a daily basis. You have a greater awareness of the impact of your actions. This insight gives you more choices and a greater chance to find an outcome that works for you in any given situation.
The ability to practice spotting patterns gives you the foresight to make more informed decisions about how you react, or even if you react to things that might have triggered you before. Maybe you don’t get involved in them at all or you approach them with a completely different mindset to get a different outcome than you did previously.
Improved Emotional Intelligence encourages a helicopter view and more options on a day to day basis
Increased emotional intelligence will help you be more effective at work and happier at home
Observing patterns comes in useful here too, if you know that travelling on 5 international trips back to back with no downtime makes you feel disconnected and lacking in creativity. Ensure that you make time between trips to get that restorative time and have some time at home to recover.
If you spot you need quiet time and space to focus on writing up big and important reports then ensure you ask for it or create it for yourself by working from home or booking a quiet office on those days. And stick to it, no quibble, no phone time, don’t book extra meetings in just because people asked.. Dedicate yourself to the task fully, and to your own self achieving your best outcome. You’ll have more to give to others when you know you have performed to the best of your ability
“But I don’t have time!”
I hear you cry.
Honestly. You do. Everyone does, if you have time to be on social media or watch TV for any amount of time in the day you have time. If you have time to moan about anything you feel is not working well for you, you can do something about it. Flip the energy and make it productive!
You are simply choosing to do something else with it right now. Are you ready to take that energy and time for yourself and work on one of your emotional intelligence blind spots? Make your welfare and future success your responsibility
Trust me, you will be a lot more productive at work and a lot happier at home as a result!
Having better emotional intelligence can also improve your confidence
I mean imagine yourself a few months into the future, having taken the steps to show up for you consistently. Imagine the sense of self-sovereignty you feel when you have mastered the bits of you that you don’t like and flipped them into behaviours that you love…
Go Deeper
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