Do you ever look around and think “is this it?”

Do you ever get that Sunday night feeling of dread for the week you will face on a Monday morning?

Do you long to do more things you love every day?

Emotional Intelligence profiling may have been scientifically developed and tested for work but honing your emotional intelligence will help bring more love into all areas of your life.

5 ways improved emotional intelligence will attract more love

1. Attitude

Emotional Intelligence gives a read on how you regard yourself vs a control group and how you regard others. This isn’t necessarily about self-esteem it can manifest in lots of different ways, if you have low self-regard and high regard for others you may value your own needs lower than other people’s when making decisions.

Seems like a noble thing to do right? But over a long period of time, making decisions that are in other people’s best interests over yours will likely lead you to places that you didn’t expect or want to be. Resulting in an unfulfilling and likely unhappy life, and a general lack of love for your situation.

Do you find yourself doubting decisions when under pressure and seeking advice from others vs trusting your inner knowing? This could be a sign of an imbalance in Self Regard Vs Regard for others.

Working on this will make you more likely to put your needs first, so you feel more confident, at ease and draw other people with similar goals and complementary energy into your world. You will fall back in love with yourself and the people around you won’t be able to help but love you too!

2. Feel the feels!

Do you acknowledge your feelings? Even the shadow ones that are often perceived as “negative” ?

Does it feel comfortable to move through them or would you rather forget them and distract yourself with something that switches your brain off?

Do you notice the feelings of others around you before they do?

Do you respond to them and/or help manage them?

Or do you prefer to avoid them until the situation passes?

The answer to these questions will most likely vary on a daily basis depending on which part of your life the feelings might refer to, and what else has happened in your day. That’s totally normal. However, to linger at either end of the spectrum and be at the mercy of your feelings or be constantly running away from them on a long term basis is not ideal for your quality of life or your nervous system.

Developing your emotional intelligence will mean that you have better agency over how you notice and experience your feelings and in turn your interactions with those around you. Your feelings are a temperature check on how a situation or relationship is playing out Vs your wider goals, vision or dreams.

Knowing where you are at with them will help you manage your energy in the best way to get you there in a way that suits you. 

Do you listen to your body when it tells you something is off? Or do you push that chatter down and carry on regardless? Do you trust your inner knowing or deny its voice when it bubbles up in favour of the advice of others?

Gathering information on how you and others are feeling increases empathy, trust, connectedness it, therefore, encourages better relationships. And you guessed it, more love!

3. Self-Management

How do you react when bad things happen to you?

Do you struggle to find solutions and wallow in your feelings or endlessly seek the advice or reassurance of others to help you move forward? Or do you pick yourself up and carry on? Emotional intelligence profiling will give a read on your emotional resilience and ability to cultivate days that you love no matter how you feel.

Do circumstances dictate the outcome of your days?

If you spill your coffee in the morning, how does that affect you? Is it the end of the world, or a small thing that can’t possibly dent your happiness as there is so much else for you to be thankful for? You have personal power over how these things affect you, you can choose to alter the course of your day at any moment whatever has just happened.

Do you have clear goals and manage to stay focused on them? Or are you the king or queen of procrastination? Do you always do what you say you are going to do? If you don’t do you really want to do the things at all? Emotional intelligence coaching will help work out what your mindset gremlins are, and can help filter out the noise of what you really want to do Vs what you think you should do.

How do you react to change? Do you adapt with ease? Or does it send you into a panic? Does this cause ripple effects for the people around you? If you find it hard when people try and give you advice in this area, coaching will help you be more open to other options and become more flexible. Who knows, you may even learn to love it!

Is it easy for you to connect with people? Or do you find it a challenge to make authentic connections? Is the depth of connection more important to you than breadth but you find yourself with a varied tribe that don’t know you so well?

Developing the right relationships is important to cultivate intimate and supportive personal and professional relationships that bring out the best in you.

With a highly connected network of people that really see you, you are more likely to live days surrounded by people that you love, doing things you love.

Do people often misunderstand you and/or what you stand for?

Do you truly communicate in a way that resonates with them in the way you think you do? Many of these areas link to feelings and attitudes, so a high index in one may lead to a deficiency in another. Balancing that out through coaching can lead to more openness, vulnerability and connectedness with people you care about.

4. Relationship Management

Do you have a tendency to overtrust others and under trust yourself?

This could result in lower self-regard and resilience over time as you will learn to doubt your ability to make decisions. Getting the balance back will cultivate a greater love for yourself and balanced love for others.

Are you a “Pollyanna” always seeing the best in a bad situation even when quite frankly it needs to be recognised for what it is?! Positivity is great but must be balanced with realism, the balanced scorecard for optimism Vs realism will help see where you lie on this scale. This can save you from blindly believing in the wrong relationships, jobs and many dodgy decisions.

Back to your feelings, how do you express them? (Or do you at all?! We’ve all been there, too afraid to say what we really feel for fear of upsetting someone else)

Do they always come out no matter what? Or will they see the light of day at their peril?

Neither is ideal, but you can learn when to express what. Based on what you perceive in situations and do so in a loving way with empathy for the feelings of other people around you. I promise you it will improve relationships both at home and at work exponentially.

If conflict is your friend and your best defence to a fear of showing vulnerability you may want to look at ways to transition to a more assertive approach.

You can be assertive without attracting conflict, and being more assertive with what you need and want is more likely to develop deeper and more connected relationships over time.

Conversely, being overly passive and never showing how you feel for fear of offending or upsetting others could also result in strained relationships. The ideal is a balance between the two.

There is a lot to manage, how well you balance yourself and others make up your interdependence score. It indicates your areas of brilliance and tenderness in teams and relationships. Patterns that you have been able to spot but not find the root of are likely to come out here.

5. Reflective learning

Do you take time to stop and reflect on what you and others feel, think and do?

Do you take on board the reactions of others on a regular basis and consider why events happen as they do? Do you practice empathy in your reflections and gathering of information? Does this help in your decision making?  

Doing this on a regular basis will improve your attitude toward others, and develop better habits and your confidence when cultivating professional and personal lives that you dearly love.

Journalling is an effective option for many people to do this either as a stream-of-consciousness writing whatever comes up each day or in something more structured like a prompted journal.

Go Deeper

Interested to find out more?

Sign up for updates and listen to my complimentary activate your sweet life visualisation to get you started living more of your own sweet days or book a Spark Session to chat about working with me 1:1 if you’re ready to see how emotional intelligence can help make your days sweeter and filled with more love.