Many moons ago when I was a sprightly young thing in the fast-paced world of energy marketing. I would go to meeting upon meeting filled with bright and brilliant people, where there were often upwards of 15-20 people gathered together to work through a solution or brief an agency team. The energy would buzz in these conversations as people from different disciplines and countries gathered together to solve juicy consumer problems.
It was challenging, and interesting work. I knew I could contribute and add value to any conversation, but when it actually came to speaking up in front of an audience it was an inordinately stressful experience. An idea would spring forth in my mind as a conversation developed, and instead of sharing it, I would hold onto it. Feeling hot with anxiety about how it would land mixed with frustration that I wasn’t part of the conversation. I’d end up flushed, with sweaty palms as conversations developed and I felt like I’d missed my chance, then at the end would add in my little nugget of wisdom.
It was so stressful!
I was in the room for a reason. But self-doubt was a persistent companion and foe, sometimes it would take digging into a deep well of courage and a lot of psyching myself up to say anything in these sessions.
It was only a comment from a wise and respected colleague one day that helped me realise all this stress and worry was futile. “You should speak up more often, you have lots of good things to say”
My mind raced, it’s not that simple! Don’t you know how hard it is for me?!
But the acknowledgement that what I had to say was valuable was a helpful nudge for this sensitive soul to go on a little journey of self-discovery and development. I started asking questions like:
What if it didn’t have to be that way?
What if you could learn to work with your fears and do things anyway?
As a lifelong learner and massive bookworm, books were my starting point. Here are a few that helped me go from an anxious mess talking in front of people to someone who is now happy to speak to anyone in any forum (with some prep!)
Feel the Fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers
This timeless classic was a wake-up call for me when I read it for the first time on a trip to Italy to see friends. I have bought a few copies since as I give it away to friends and have an extra copy on my Kindle so I can always have it with me if I need a pep talk!
It was written decades ago, but the advice still rings true. Fear is a valid and helpful feeling designed to help keep us safe, it sometimes gets a little overexcited in modern environments and becomes unhelpful. However, befriend it and you can ride the energy into excitement about a new situation instead. There is a fine line between the two feelings and this book helped me learn to identify the markers for me to more gracefully do the dance in my life.
What got you here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith
A quick read, this one is a bit of a slap around the face in terms of the obviousness of its message. But we rarely acknowledge it, so it’s essential reading!
If you are not where you want to be right now, then to keep doing what you are doing is only going to keep you in a place that doesn’t serve you for longer. To activate change that aligns with where you want to be, you will absolutely need do something different.
“Oh, but it’s so comfortable here!” I hear you cry. I know, I know. But your oh-so-clever brain can have a tendency to oversimplify things sometimes and keep you places simply because it likes the familiarity of predictability even though it doesn’t serve your highest good. It’s wired for your safety at the end of the day, and any change even if it’s a fun and exciting one can be experienced by your brain as a big red flag simply because it’s different from what it is used to. This book helps you understand why.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent and Lead by Brene Brown
My first coach recommended this book to me because at the time I understood my sensitivity and profound experience of emotions to be a weakness in my character. It landed like a tonne of bricks and cracked my heart wide open. It helped me understand ways to meet my emotions and experiences of everyday life and harness their power to have a better relationship with myself and others. And ultimately to accept that my sensitivity really is a superpower, not a burden.
This book is a must for all sensitive souls!
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R Hawkins
Another one that I stumbled upon during my uncovering of the secret superpower of sensitivity. This book is like an encyclopedia of emotions and how we can best navigate them for the benefit of us and the people around us. It’s a marvel in that it’s about a very serious and well-researched subject but shared in a very accessible way. It’s another that has been shared with a few people and always lands well!
Be prepared for lots of what I call “book down” moments where something lands and you simply need to set the book down for a bit while you allow yourself to absorb it. This helped me trust that the things I was experiencing were there to support and not stop me.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Another absolute cracker from Brene, this one helped me start to accept my weirdness in all its glory. What you think is “imperfection” is actually your brilliance, and the more you lean into it the more radiant and magnetic it becomes.
It’s a rallying cry for anyone who has ever felt awkward being them to radically self-love and repair their self-view for the benefit of the world. You were not born by accident, so take a deep breath, embrace what you have and step into it boldly!
Playing Big by Tara Mohr
If you have ever caught yourself playing small, not speaking up, not sharing something in your business or your inner critic talks you out of plans with “shoulds” and “what if” then this book is for you.
Tara takes you on a journey to not only meet your inner doubter but bring them out into the light to see the mistruths they feed you on a daily basis. Mine now has a name (little Sarah, she was very scared of everything!) and I can talk her down if she crops up to try and talk me out of doing anything.
The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
I listen to this on Audible probably once a year as a reminder to keep going. As with the best will and habits in the world, life can weigh us all down sometimes and tiredness can let naughty and unhelpful thoughts creep in.
If you are feeling the discomfort of mediocrity but also feeling the discomfort of facing change, this will help you make (you guessed it!) the big leap into change for the better. As, if you are going to be uncomfortable surely you want to go towards your sweet life, not just marinade in what you know isn’t right for you?!
Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez
A bit left-field when it comes to visibility, but hear me out!
This book helped me realise the true balance of what was important to me in life. What I thought I needed to enjoy life was quite quickly understood for its truth or folly as I journeyed through this book. Which in turn helped me recognise when I wasn’t leaning into being visible simply because the arena wasn’t mine to play in. And redirected me to other places that were more meaningful for me and the sweet life I am creating.
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E Frankl
This is another recommended read to get out every year or so. Not a light book but thought-provoking and encourages a profound sense of perspective. As a psychologist, who was interned in a concentration camp he highlights the power of the mind and patterns of belief, trust and hope that he saw play out in daily life. Those that maintained their mind, were more likely to survive the challenging environment.
It always reminds me that if Viktor was able to maintain focus on his purpose and passion for life in the most extreme of circumstances, then I can get out and be seen in the relative safety of the world I live in now.
I’d love to hear about your experiences if you decide to dive in and explore any of these, or if you have already. Do you have any that you would add to the list? Let me know in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you.
Have a sweet day! Sarah 
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