There are 3 big reasons why I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions, I thought I would share them this ditch new Year resolutions day to encourage compassion for yourself if you do decide to drop some today. As 17th January is famed for being the day, the largest number of people ditch their new year’s resolutions.
Are you still feeling a little groggy after the Christmas break?
Did you eat a few more mince pies than you planned and find yourself saying “well it is Christmas!” As chilled glasses of chilled Prosecco flowed easily, or all your Christmas chocolate & cheese disappeared as if by magic. Did any semblance of routine fly out of the window as you lolled about in your pyjamas watching Christmas films for days on end?
Are you now stuck in a loop of “I should be doing yoga/going for a walk/joining a gym/starting a new hobby/job/building a six-figure business from scratch/getting up at 5 am to water your homegrown veg patch as you struggle to get back into your routine?
STOP!
1. Nature is resting not setting resolutions, we should too
It’s OK to eat all the cheese and chocolate you like and skip yoga for a few days, it’s OK to have a rest and the only change of clothes you make is from one pair of pyjamas to another. It’s OK to not want to do anything at all on some days too.
This season has short days and long nights to encourage us to go within and rest, the longer hours of darkness naturally encourage us to take time to restore, recalibrate and re-energise ourselves. The trees have shed their loads and dropped all their leaves in readiness for a new burst of activity in the spring. It’s OK for you to do the same and recharge ready for a new cycle around the sun too. It’s natural you struggle to get back to full flow or beyond in the New Year, as it’s not really the physical season that you were designed to charge out into the world birthing new ideas, habits, and projects.
It’s natural to feel a little overwhelmed by all the “New Year, New You” messages and to wonder whether you are in the right place with work, life, and love. This is a season designed by nature to encourage us to nurture, rest, and reflect on the past one and ready ourselves for spring.
2. This “season of change” is designed by big businesses to sell you things
Retailers spend a lot of money advertising to us in the run-up to Christmas, we are encouraged to spend and indulge and then suddenly are reminded of all we need to do in order to cut it all back out. Just like that.
They prey on this natural time of reflection to sell you a dream of a new life, an escape from your life through travel or even divorce workshops (a friend sent me a link to this the other day! Can you believe it? It seems cruel doesn’t it?!) They sell you a big barrel of chocolates one month then a diet bar and a gym membership the next. Along with a barrage of emails launching challenges to get you started in 20 million new habits in 2020
It’s all a bit much all at once.
I have embedded a lot of new habits in my life over the past 7 years but none have been built in at the start of the year. Whenever I did try and do that I would try and change a lot of things all at once and fail miserably only to repeat another year of doing the same kind of things and berating myself for not being able to change EVERYTHING. An impossible task for most people. Big marketing teams want us to do that and feel that sense of despair so we can buy into the next solution they have for us.
The only way I have managed to create and maintain sustainable change is to break it down into phases by setting and reviewing goals regularly. So yes I do set goals in January, but I also set goals in all the other months of the year. These are based on the whole year, 5 year, and 10 year plans that I have for myself which align with intentions around how I want to live my life overall. I break them down into themes and chunks of time so that my energy can focus on related things as appropriate. So work goals, money, love, family, health, etc. Each area has different goals, plans, and values which if I make a little bit of progress at a time that suits me every day, week, month it will add up to a lot of change by the time the next year rolls around regardless of the month that I started in.
3. You do you!
Encouragement to restart and reevaluate life and work goals at the same time as everyone else leads to a lot of comparison-itis. Looking at what other people are doing and comparing your progress on day one to theirs on year 10. It’s great to reach out to people doing things that you would love to do, we can all learn from people that have trodden our intended paths or similar. But constantly looking sideways or to the future can lead to a dilution of your own goals and message as the risk of competing with what others are doing is high.
If you don’t feel like doing it then don’t, do it when it feels right for you and not before. If you do then that’s fabulous too! Spend some time to go inwards and have a think about what perfect days will look like for you. Block some time out to think about what it looks, feels, and smells like.
Some people use fancy journals, some people use a plain notebook, some people use digital planners or project management tools, others use vision boards. There is no right way to do this, personally, I use a combination of them all for different areas of my work and life.
Plan your goals or set your intentions in a way that works for you at a time that works for you. I do mine mostly on pen and paper but some bits online as that’s what works for me. Something about pen and paper makes them feel more real, they are in my face in a way that digital to-do lists never are. I find using Asana to set headline targets on the boards helpful for filtering goals on a quarterly basis, but as a daily to-do list, it is a way to procrastinate for me as load far more on there than I could ever do just to empty my journal. I need the limits of a pad that can only carry 3 tasks a day, to set realistic and focused goals. I also love being able to draw a big fat line through a task when it’s done. But for some people, Asana or Slack are dream tools to get things done. Test them, try them and see what works for you.
What tiny next step can you take to make one element of it a reality? JUST ONE! If you want to change jobs/get fit/find a boyfriend or girlfriend/take a trip what is the tiny next step you can take to make it a reality?
Just one thing! Drop me a note and let me know. Even if it’s simply saying I’m not sure, that’s valid too!
Happy New Year, it’s still January so I am still saying it?
#ditchnewyearsresolutions #goals #successmindset